Don't know how to feel.  I have so many emotions. having my d&c in the am and I'm so afraid. afraid of being put to sleep afraid that possibly my baby is still alive and I still have the surgery and they find out later. Sounds really weird but despite all the bleeding and cramping I've had I'm still longing for that heartbeat. I pray those Drs were wrong and my baby is still there. I've been so sad all week. crying and feeling like no one understands. never felt this way and I feel it's all my fault. I keep thinking of things I could have done differently. also this is my 2nd miscarriage so I feel like something is wrong with me. On the bright side got a job offer this week and interview for a job I've been waiting on. But it's hard to feel too happy about it bc I'm still mourning. I would give anything to have my lil critter back in my life.

sometimes I feel like a cruel joke was played on me.  I thought I was entering my 2nd trimester but in reality my baby had passed weeks before.  That's one of the things I find extremely hard to deal with.  I just wish I could go back in time and do things differently and maybe my baby would still be  here. For now I'm praying for a heartbeat and looking forward to my sister's baby in December.

Trying to be peaceful, with a world full of craziness. Pregnancy is suppose to be a beautiful thing, which it is. But at the same time there are our outside things that cause me stress and anxiety. Staying at peace and serene is hard to do with all of life stressors. So lately I've been trying different ways to keep my inner peace despite what the world may bring. I've always been an emotional person and quick tempered sometimes but now I have someone else to think about when I decide to let my emotions get the best of me.

Whether its not finding a job yet, a little argument with my husband, family feuds, etc I need as much as possible to remember that I have a child inside of me and I need to stress less. The best things I've come up with so far is that I can take long deep breathes, listen to calming music,  take a walk, smile for no reason, watch funny movies, do a little meditation, pray, or just envision my little one finally in the world. Its hard to remain calm with all those extra hormones and I'm such a drama queen any way, but the best thing is to remember your child your carrying and all the peace and joy they will bring to your life. And that should bring you all the inner peace you need. 

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a45322399/

Been writing a lot about my pregnancy and the things I've been going through, the ups and the downs. But today decided to talk about my husband the man who helped me created the wonderful life I have inside of me. Was listening to my favorite singer Beyoncé of course! "Dangerously in Love" and "Love on Top"  and it made me think of my baby and also my husband and it made me smile. I'm very happy and lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life who has been very loving and supportive through my pregnancy I have been extremely nervous because this will be my 2nd time being pregnant but he has been there to keep me strong and happy. Also want to thank him for putting up with my crazy mood swings as well. lol Just want to say I love you and appreciate everything you do! And I know you will be an amazing dad

Going into week 10 of my pregnancy and I've been extremely tired the last two weeks. My bed time is definitely around 8 or 9pm now with my late 4 am wake up call to run to the bathroom.  But even still I wake up and I'm still tired.

Read something that said that working out while pregnant releases endorphins and energy.  I rarely worked out when I wasn't pregnant but I figure its time more than ever to begin working out. So of course I go to Youtube.com and look up "prenatal first trimester workout". Found one only about 15mins but I feel more relaxed and have a little more energy. Overall I really enjoyed it, had a chance to  bond with my baby too while doing it as well. I learned while working out that smiling while pregnant the baby feels it so I will make sure I smile more and keep my inner peace.

 I want to have an easier child birth so I definitely will keep this up, I may look into a prenatal yoga class in my area and see about joining so I can stay active and less tired every day.  I definitely recommend people workout or do a little yoga while they are pregnant. But now I just need motivation to make sure I at least do some kind of workout 3 times a week and ultimately everyday!

My hair My Hair My hair! the story of my life but now its a different story because I'm pregnant and can no longer use those harsh chemicals such as the dyes, relaxers, texturizers, etc to make my hair straight. So I've result to googling hair products made for African Americans  who want to have natural hair. Found a few products but not sure if those products will work for me plus I dont feel like waiting on them to ship.  From those site what I've come up with is that I should create my own DIY products so I don't have to wait on the products I saw online to be mailed to me which could take forever, and I dont even know if they will work, plus my hair cant wait that long!

Tired of my hair being dry, brittle, hard, kinky, so I researched and came up with my own hot oil treatment.  I melted on the stove Coconut oil, SheaButter, and CocoaButter Oil, and then massaged it throughout my entire head and let sit for an hour then rinse it out. So far my hair feels good it feels softer and has more of a shine. But now I need to create a deep conditioner and so I went back to Google and the best recipe I found was from www.heyFranhey.com website in which she makes a conditioner using Avocado, bananas, Coconut milk, Olive Oil, and a few other ingredients I'm going to give that a try to see if I can fix my kinks and curls even more. I definitely know keeping my hair oiled will work since it will soften my curls and make my hair easier to maintain. So just a few things you all can try for your self if you having the same problems with your hair.

I'm excited about motherhood, but got to make sure Momma looks good at the same time and my baby is safe too!

Been fine so far as far as morning sickness, but this morning!/ all day I've been feeling it. I cant seem to throw up though. I just feel like I had a night of drinking and I'm just drained and nauseous all day and any site or smell of anything I will explode. But as much as I want to I cant seem to throw up! Supposedly according to "the experts" morning sickness is a good sign for your pregnancy. The day is over now, and I feel much better, hoping for a better tomorrow though. In the mean time just excited to meet the little one May 2014!

My very First Blog, 


Just excited because I am finally pregnant! After trying for a year me and my husband are finally pregnant again. Went through a miscarriage around this exact time last year. And I usually would be skeptical about even sharing this with anyone because of what happened before. But this time I know things will be different, so I'm not going to stress over things I can not control.  So I'm still a little nervous but I'm excited for my little bundle of joy and  what they will bring to our lives and our families. 


Went to my first prenatal checkup appointment on Friday and things went great, my Dr. said the magic words I wanted to hear " Congratulations you are pregnant and everything is going great the baby has a strong heart beat", also that my baby is 7 weeks and 4 days


This year decided that I would do things different in order to keep my baby safe. I am eating better and less stressed than I was before. The first thing I did after taking my home pregnancy test was run to the local organic market and get some prenatal vitamins. Spoke to a woman in the store and she told me the best vitamins to get were the ones that were "food based", these vitamins in particular were made with real ingredients and no artificial ingredients added to them. I'm not an expert on health but that made me want to try these prenatal, and to my surprise they have been great. I started off taking one brand but switched because It had soy in. Not a medical expert but I learned from my mom that soy isn't good for you because of the estrogen that is in them. And some other things, that I don't really remember. But will add a link to the end of this article for you to check it out for your self and decide. So no longer taking those because what I shouldn't have in my body definitely don't want my baby to have either. Now I am taking "Rainbow Light Prenatal One". Which have been working good for me, and I love them because it also has ginger juice in it which helps with being nauseous. 


But overall things are going much better than last year this time, so I am looking forward to meeting my little one.

http://www.amazon.com/Rainbow-Light-Prenatal-Multivitamin-tablets/dp/B00115BJ30/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1381082346&sr=1-1&keywords=rainbow+light+prenatal+one

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/07/29/soy-effects-on-women.aspx

http://www.babycenter.com/400_if-it-safe-to-drink-soy-milk-during-pregnancy_2305471_950.bc