Don't know how to feel.  I have so many emotions. having my d&c in the am and I'm so afraid. afraid of being put to sleep afraid that possibly my baby is still alive and I still have the surgery and they find out later. Sounds really weird but despite all the bleeding and cramping I've had I'm still longing for that heartbeat. I pray those Drs were wrong and my baby is still there. I've been so sad all week. crying and feeling like no one understands. never felt this way and I feel it's all my fault. I keep thinking of things I could have done differently. also this is my 2nd miscarriage so I feel like something is wrong with me. On the bright side got a job offer this week and interview for a job I've been waiting on. But it's hard to feel too happy about it bc I'm still mourning. I would give anything to have my lil critter back in my life.

sometimes I feel like a cruel joke was played on me.  I thought I was entering my 2nd trimester but in reality my baby had passed weeks before.  That's one of the things I find extremely hard to deal with.  I just wish I could go back in time and do things differently and maybe my baby would still be  here. For now I'm praying for a heartbeat and looking forward to my sister's baby in December.